Pandemic or PanDUMBic

Yordanka Naydenova • April 19, 2020

Just my subjective opinion About some Things recently

The World is on stand-by, with all the good and bad consequences and there is not so much to do but to wait. We are facing a dangerous pandemic but the pandumbic of misinformation and hatred is also not harmless.

It's been 5 weeks since my last post on Friday, 13th of March). Back then I was more optimistic. Like many other people, I also believe in conspiracies and at that Moment was still hoping that a vaccine should be released sooner than in reality will take. I thought whoever created the virus, must have a cure and vaccine as well, just waiting for the proper moment to release them on the market. As the government announced the lockdown, we could calculate that a month is the minimum that could have any impact, even though they first only announced it for a week (in Austria). Two weeks after closing is necessary for the freshly infected people to show symptoms and two more weeks approx. since they get healthy (or die). Then we would need one more month at least to keep that plateau. Right now, the situation seems under control in Austria. Shops up to 400m² reopened, there are many more cars on the roads and many more people on the streets. But we will continue to spread the virus and soon we might have again boom.

So we knew there is a lot of time necessary but most of us refused to accept it. My mind couldn't imagine how from one day to the other almost whole the world could lockdown. Most of us didn't see it coming with such a huge impact and we refuse to believe that it could last so long.

In January I was still supporting the conspiracy that Donald release the Virus as a bioweapon against China. He is evil and ruthless enough to do so, but, still, could he sacrifice the lives of thousands of US citizens just like this? Then, at the beginning of March on the Internet were circulating some new speculations involving Bill Gates' name, chipping of everybody on Earth, control and new world order. People still share those. Soon after Europe and the US locked down, I heard the situation in China is back to normal and people live like before. Meanwhile for us was just the beginning. So I thought we better start learning Mandarin. China owns pretty much big parts of the world, so many countries are owning Money to China and so many economics are dependant on China. The virus could be a convenient tool for them to deal with overpopulation in a spartan way, "clean" from the old and sick people while keeping the workers. There is the virology center in Wuhan, so if somebody could find out the virus has been artificially created, there could be always an excuse for accidentally releasing, but releasing a mortal virus by mistake also doesn't sound plausible, right? Now on the Internet are getting viral other stories, that China was covering deaths only to show how good is the country doing, compared to the US and Europe, but indeed they were dying millions of People. Who knows what is happening behind the coulisses while we deal with assumptions and conspiracies. This is why recently I avoid digging in corona related news and keep my mind clean if possible from all the trash that everybody is spreading. I am only checking the statistic and here and there some qualitative articles. I think that many people are doing the same, the initial shock is over and slowly we learn to let go, we can't control, we find some coping mechanism and try to accept what we cannot change. Many of us I believe in the good side of the lockdown.

We observe a clear, blue sky even in the big, dirty cities all around the world and cleaner rivers. Pictures from Space are showing clearly that the Planet is having a break from our urban life. We all knew that we were not going in a good way. We were reading about bad prognoses for the future and natural disasters that the next generations might face but we didn't do so much to prevent them. Maybe a little bit here and there, a but if recycling, reusing, maybe some of us are living in a more minimalistic way. There are numerous inspiring people out there who are dedicating their lives to change the world but it is not enough. We all need to change something to impact the nature on a global level. I may sound like Great, I am telling you, I don't like her so much, as well with anything too radical, fanatic, dogmatic, but at least she is going something and most of us are not. We are only doing enough to satisfy our guilty conscious. Each year the world goes in eco debt earlier and earlier but it seems that we just accept this statement and wait for somebody else to do something, for the government to change it and hoping that nothing will happen and that it's not concerning it. Now the government is doing it, even though not with that one goal particularly, but that is the result. Better earlier, than too late. If we manage it to save the planet for the future generations, maybe our suffering as individuals through this Corona era is worth it.

I feel deeply sorry for everyone who lost somebody because of the pandemic and anyone who has sick relatives in a serious condition or is himself fighting for life, for everyone who is in the risk group and lives in fear that might fall sick tomorrow. I also feel sorry for the People who lost their jobs, their incomes, their business. Maybe even homes. I assume the number dying of starvation people in the developing countries will keep on increasing because of the disability to earn their daily wages and provide food for the family. Does even somebody can track those numbers? People who live without the Internet cannot join our discussions to tell us that they think about the coronavirus. They can't tell us how bored are they and wonder what to do all day while getting fat from overeating. If you have food, family, home, do you realize how blessed you are? They are funny memes on the Internet about reach people in crisis and average people in crisis. Let us not forget if you have all those things above, you are rich for somebody out there who can't afford proper health care.

COVID-19 comes to show us how connected we are and how the globalization works. Everyone is exposed to the risk of contamination, despite social status and nationality but not everyone has same the right to seek for medical help. The measurements for spreading the contamination as well can vary in different countries. Now the borders are closed, not so much globalization anymore, more or less the Internet and phones are connecting us right now. Even this proves that borders are artificially separating the people and telling us what to believe, what language or dialect so speak, what religion to have and what to believe in. Sometimes separating the same nation in two different countries and then splitting them apart, implying they are different from each other. As an idealist, I hope one day everyone should be close to getting the maximum benefit out of the globalization, including having equal life standard.

I've seen some people on social media presenting themselves as heroes simply because having to stay home. It's hard not to be judgy. I'll do my best here, in the public space. I keep on telling myself that you can't judge somebody if you are not in his shoes. Out of their perceptions, maybe they are heroes, facing their everyday difficulties, canceling dreams and events, changing plans or just not having any. This state in which we are currently is triggering all hidden emotional problems we were managing by now to keep away. No more distractions. You can still keep on running away from the reality, but your buried fears will continue chasing you. I believe people who tend to depressions or anxiety are having an even harder time now. As well as hyper-social people who miss being the center of attention - now they can only stream live from home.

Feels like somebody pressed the "pause" button. We are in an unknown, uncertain state, not knowing how long is going to continue and what might happen after that. We can't make plans, hard to think about the future when knowing that the world will never be the same as before. The whole 2020 is going in a randomly chosen direction. Recently, I even think that the virus might be originally from the nature. We are weak, we are so far away from the nature. What we call "alternative" way of living, eating, medicine only shows how far we are from the natural way of living. Don't get me wrong. I am aware that without conventional medicine, we are lost nowadays. We would die from trivial for us diseases, but mortal for few generations ago. In the era of globalization, the spread would be unstoppable. Neither am I against the technological progress of the urban civilization. What I mean is that the virus might found that one weak spot, caused by nonstop usage of technology, living inside of the smartphone and being exposed to radiation of 3G, 4G, 5G and so on. Currently, there are also lots of debates about the relation between coronavirus and installation of the new 5G networks.

On the other hand, is somehow difficult to imagine for me that one sick bat could cause the global lockdown. Or that this lethal virus will originate exactly in a region with virology center. What a coincidence that should be?

So, I don't know what the origin of the virus might be, did it come out of a bat or an evil genius, and I don't know if we will ever find out. Again, a lesson to accept and let it be if we could call it like this. Diving into the unknown presence and future.

As for me and my quarantine, I was already unemployed so at least I didn't lose my job if that is a good thing. {a joke}I wanted to give myself a break for 2-3 months before starting work again. It's been 6-7 years when I was last unemployed. I have faced some changes recently in my life and was planning to face so more, so I thought time for recovery is highly needed. I quit in January and at the beginning, it was tough for me to not working, I was feeling useless and lazy, and I still have this urge to something important, to use the time, learn, work, do something with my life. I can't have a proper break before doing something "useful", getting tired first. So, when they announced the Lockdown, I was already getting crazy and I wanted to do something and get a job soon. Without this crisis, I would not allow myself to be a lazy count for such a long time. Yeah, if you listen to this, you might think this is the secret to success in life, right? Sounds very inspiring. Well, it didn't bring me so further in life. Still, depends on the point of view and the personal goals. If you dream to become rich, manager or owner of a big company, superstar or at least average famous, then I failed. But if the criteria are being a happy, conscious living being, kind to other living beings and environment, then maybe that's more highly possible to be achieved. So, I also had some anxious time due to the coronavirus, but excluding it, I am enjoying the break and using the time to develop new skills or just learn or try something new.

I had to cancel my yoga classes, of course, which was deeply frustrating, but I am exploring the opportunities of live streaming and embracing the technical possibilities.

More than ever, maybe, now is the time to be grateful for what we have and to enjoy the simplicity of life.

I hope everything will be as close as fine as possible for everyone.

We observe clear, blue sky even in the city

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